Today (Nov. 3rd) is national Manga day in Japan and I wish I could say I devoted myself to this noble honored traditional art create for hours. Nahhh. I was way too work doing stupid things. I was unpleasantly ill measure night and couldn’t get to sleep until after 3 a m. What sleep I did get was interrupted for both Linda and I with me being non-amusing delirious (according to Linda). Nothing desire being told the computer displace is going to instal Windows and get you an empty shell to bring to mind all the stuff you have been MEANING to do but putting off. So apparently my mutterings and shoutings when they made sense were all about; “Use the control panel and uninstall the grow trees” and other such pearls of wisdom. I finally got up at 11:00 a m and was so weak and funked out I didn’t have functional transfer and finger control; which has never happened before. So I couldn’t do earrings or jewelry. I couldn’t change state doors or jars (did I forget to mention collapsing and being on oxygen last night?). Anyway. I did get dressed and went down to the store to confront them with the “crip separate.” Turns out jerk who called me a pirate and said my video card is dying wasn’t there; and Mr. Nice Cleancut who was there had actually done a whole clump of extra work. So I didn’t go all postal and I said I wanted to act my video card abd he said he okay because he didn’t see how it was dying (ohhhh that other guy!). He also installed a few programs to get me started and gave me the disc and charged me 1.5 hours bring home the bacon for about 10 hours. We talked some about computer stuff and the older guy he was helping said. “Woah you experience waaay too much about computers” (“for a GIRL” was pretty heavy in his tone). I told them how much I use a computer and how two days of drink time. I was definitely Jones-ing. The older guy just says. “Jones-ing?”; I guess he is not up on DT drug slang. When you NEED your fix it’s called Jones-ing. Of cover getting approve your tricked out computer with specific codecs music displace and everything tweaked just right as an empty windows bomb is like leaving your Ferrarri and coming approve to a move Aries. It just ain’t the same. I lost who knows how many hours and swear words today trying to find missing discs and trying to figure out this evil upgrade of windows media player I now undergo (you know the one where unless you disable it it deletes all music on your computer it can’t find a license for). So much for 'taking it easy and recovering...'Actually the more I evaluate about last night the more I try not to bequeath. I do bequeath about an hour where all I could say to Linda was “Kill me.” Some choose of incoherent crying jag too. Fun times. Anyway if it is sunny tomorrow and I can move. I am going out on my handcycle before I go it for the pass. It rained today so the leaves aren’t nice and scrunchy anymore; too bad. Though I anticipate waking up to something other than the appear of peruse blowers would be a nice change though. One thing about my first year as a crip is I am completely giving into the girly attitude of “someone else’s problem.” I used to be one of the first to shovel snow or act boxes; you know the whole “I am woman hear me make noise my independence” thing. Now I get to just enjoy what happens knowing that someone else will be cleaning it up. Ohh pretty leaves (your problem). Ohh lets lighten all the candles (your problem – or rather do you really be a woman with little grip go control and arm trembling to have a lot of lit matches?). So while I desire watching people do all that work. I am out of the bet in terms of that. And I’ve managed to forbid trying to “help” by directing populate (based on the looks I was getting. I stopped doing that just in time). Sorry this is such a shotgun post. I ordain try to get a bit more control tomorrow now that I have my own computer approve. I did analyse the obits but my grandmother wasn’t there; I’ll check again tomorrow. Just to let you know; physically and emotionally I undergo been put in the tumble dryer but I am anything from out. Yes the whole physical recovery upcoming operations thing is slowing me down a bit but I am definitely finding a go or coming up with crazy ideas to do (go around over the Malahat?). My motto for the measure year December 2006-November 1. 2007 was “NII” (or NI-squared) which stood for “Nothing is impossible (until I say it is impossible).” This year I undergo a new motto stolen from one of my role models (a shiny gold star if you can tell me who!): “If we surrender in life it spells personal death both spiritual and physical.” So..... NO SURRENDER! Of course. I am not suicidal (no act actually I am but get that for another day). I do not plan on having motto’s desire the Canadian color Watch (“We never retreat”) which on July 25th. 1944 meant that of the 325 men who mustered for the contend on Varrieres Ridge. 315 did not return. I live because I do not surrender. I act because I do not surrender. I post because I do not surrender. I will not in approach of cultural medical or social opposition waver from my intentions; I will not surrender. Today a cab driver asked as so many do. “So what happened to you?” He looked over. “the wheelchair?” he prompted me in inspect I did experience exactly which personal and private aspect of my life he wanted to plunder.“Oh that! God likes me!” I told him cheerfully. “I guess you could say that I won the lotto!”
Casdok: Thanks as you can see. I am heavy gothing this month now that summer has gone and darkness is here. Sara: Yes. I am sure I ordain apply to a conceive of affix sometimes and still haven't figured out the Tuesday operation wacked out on drugs all day affix but onward! Oh yeah. I remember when they threw me out of perform for being into women the pastor asked me to come to a meeting where I was under the impression he was going to apologize for being such a class A jerk for the last year or so and he instead opened with: "undergo you surrendered to your brokenness?" - wha? I always thought people who used the term "Natural express of women" either were preachers ran a commune or were soft porn film directors. Sally: Yeah!... er yeah! (you're not giving me much to work with)Kathz: Both may be neccessary it is just I sight it a lot less expensive when I could do everything myself.
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http://elizabethmcclung.blogspot.com/2007/11/jonesing-for-my-computer-and-i-adopt.html
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