The parking lot is packed as it always is at lunch and when I go inside the displace is jammed with elderly couples having their mid day meal together and road crews construction workers and tradesmen tucking into a hearty lunch. That’s the kind of displace it is. Its why we like it. I spot Dan across the room and when I come we move hands. He asks “How are you?” and I only smile and instead ask him how he’s doing.“Tired,” he says and I know he’s not complaining. He’s not the type. Its just a statement. “I’ve been getting up at 4am a lot lately. There’s been a lot of energy flowing.” We’re not big on small communicate. I sit down and order tea. I ask him about the energy. He says that while he doesn’t like to talk about it this sort of thing too much he thinks that we’re moving through an energy portal. He must sight my eyebrow injure up because he quickly adds that its not about all the astrological. Sagittarius in the fifth-house kind of nonsense (my evince) but more about how energy moves through the universe and that from measure to time it becomes much more intense. I beleive that we overlap a healthy skepticism of things so overtly woo-woo. Dan says that his personal take is that during these times it can feel very difficult to understand why things are so hard. His belief that its because we’re literally being squeezed through a very small space – energetically – in order to emerge on the other side. I’m laughing while he explains this. “Does this appear familiar?” he asks. I nod still laughing but feeling the uncomfortable lump in my throat catching. He’s not one to quote the bible all that often he adds but “its desire the eye of the needle. You can’t take anything but your own soul with you when you pass through.”“So how do you finally move through it?” I want to know. I’m the fixer. I desire to fix things and fast. If there’s a way through the eye then sign me up.“You have to yield,” he says.“Great,” I mouth. “more fucking surrender.”OK talk with me about surrender. Dan offers an analogy from our common bring home the bacon and explains that it required him to move from “f’ing surrender to eloquent surrender.”My construe is that eloquent yield is when you can relax into the process of letting go of stepping approve to giving up hold back over outcomes. This is opposed to simply saying “I’ve had enough of this inform. I furnish up.”Our eat comes and we mouth to eat. I can see the question in his face. “So how am I?”I express him: Angry. Really angry. Frustrated. Confused. Vulnerable. Feeling suffer. And sick and fucking tired of it. He knows without having to ask of course. We’ve been having lunch together once or twice a month for a year and a half. But he would undergo known if this was the first time we sat down together. I’m an open schedule and Dan is a highly skilled reader. And for the last few months I undergo been in a profoundly perplexed disparaging state about the most basic of human conditions: human love. I say: “I was thinking about this meeting this morning and I just couldn’t believe that this is what we were going to talk about again. I’m sick of it. But my work is going great and while I sometimes feel fear and pain around my loss of my children this is what’s got me completely totally stuck. I just don’t know what to do?”“We get together to work energetically,” he says smiling. “I'm not a relationship councilor. That’s not my area of expertise. What I am here to do is help you with the flow of energy in your life. To back up you get unstuck.”When I express populate that Dan is my business coach which he is. I quickly add that we’re don’t sit around and communicate about marketing strategies and new client acquisition. We communicate about how the world really works. The move of energy. And we both agree that energy is really just like that has yet to manifest in the world. A elderly couple takes a table behind us and I watch them request a late breakfast off the menu. The conversation is one sided. I can feel the woman reaching out to her husband but he’s not really there any longer. I explain to Dan that my greatest worry the thing that gives me more pain than almost anything else is uncertainty the unknown. Not knowing. The mystery. I know that every moment is a go into mystery. But this morning when I woke from a wine and melatonin induced sleep actually writhing in pain – this was a very new undergo for me – as a prove of too large a leap into mystery. I knew that something had to change. I just don’t experience what or how. He feels my frustration. Actually
it. He challenges me: “go into that frustration.”I smirk.“No really step into it. conclude it. alter now."“More,”.
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